life was never worse, but never better

Over the past several months and weeks I have constantly come across one of these three things.. 

1. don't chase people, chase dreams
2. no one is always busy, it just depends on what number you are on their priority list
3. sometimes on the elevator up you have to stop and let some people off

I thought I should come on here to write about it, because they have been on my mind. Not only have they been on my mind, but I also have seen blog posts or instagram photos with these quotations. 

When it comes to the first one; I had that come about also last year as well as the second one really came into play for my life last year also. I really saw the realness along with who and what people truly were. It allowed me to view from the outside in for the first time. It gave me an eye opener, but also a clarity on things, life, people with who I wanted to be, am becoming and really want to associate myself with. There is that saying look at the five people closest to you and it will show you who you are. It makes one think and evaluate the people around and the life you want to live. And looking back, some of the people I surrounded myself with did not have the same values and ambitions. Some were unambitious with what they wanted in life and I was afraid to become that, to be like that. I started to take notice and hung out less with those that didn't value the same things I did in life. {I am not saying these people are bad people in any means or ways. I felt what I want and who I wanted to become wasn't what I wanted to be associated with in life.} I wanted more. I wanted to learn more, be pushed more and encouraged by those around me with the ideas, thoughts, emotions and the depths of my soul. I wanted to feel and see the risk of vulnerability that many choose not to share. I needed more than any of the past life choices, non-emotions and hidden secrets of the self that was closed off. I wanted to become like the people who inspire me regularly and make me think outside of the way I may think. Also make my mind fill with a million questions about everything possible or imaginable and to question it along with challenge it. I want to not only feel and be inspired like those that make me feel that. I also wanted to be surrounded by positivity, gratefulness, genuine true helpfulness way beyond the point of my own self. I also wanted to be real in who I am becoming as a person and be everything that is of me and not chose to be a certain person to please or feel okay around someone. I love the people who push me and tell me to be honest, real and completely authentic person that I hold inside of me of who I am as a person, as a individual, as a complete human being that makes mistakes and screws up but also loves, fails, take risks or is evoked with a million questions or thoughts that are deep. I wanted to improve of myself and become a better person, a better me that was true to the person I am becoming and want to become, but also of those who I surround myself around. And in being, doing and becoming that change that is necessary for growth you begin to lose people. It may be hard, but at the same time it's a door closing that needed to be closed for you to allow something or someone wonderful to fill the space inside of your heart that challenges you in ways in life, maybe others haven't yet before or ever. Simply someone who allows you to be you and accepts that who you are is raw and real, yet beautiful even if there is a hint of wildness strung along within the depths of who you are as a person. It is what makes one unique, because who wants to be simple

I also learnt that chasing people doesn't do anything, but holds you back. Life shouldn't be about chasing people. You shouldn't have to do that at all. The people who have your back and are there for you those are the people who matter and know your worth. {And know that also not everyone is going to like you if you are thinking statistically.} You shouldn't be a number in line, because someone is always busy and can't be bothered to make time to see you. It shouldn't be you making all the effort in the friendship, friendships are not one sided. They take work to build, the same way a marriage takes work. {I get some people have or feel it's okay to have friendships if one wants to call them that where you may not talk for a long time or are in contact here or there in a blue moon, however it's one sided.} Friendships like that shouldn't be tangled constantly with excuses or being so busy they have no time ever to meet, chat, or even see how you are doing. You shouldn't have to do all the work to maintain a friendship you thought was mutual. Sometimes, those relationships let you know that actions speak louder than words. There should be a mutual respect and appreciation for another one. At the end of the day I feel the things you value should over rule the things you are chasing that do not respect or appreciate you for who you are or your time, effort, friendship or value you as a whole. When stopping yourself from doing this it allows you to realize to stop spending time with the people who you don't want to become like. {as I mentioned above.} You shouldn't have to fight to be noticed in someones life. And don't play useless tag games on social media but never talk in person, skype, text or phone when asked, but will like everything via social media. {Usually those people are probably only pretending to care to get a better seat in your life to watch your struggle. Every helping hand isn't always there to help.}

With the above also comes teaching others that it's okay that you're a second option. No, it is not okay. You should not put everything of your life on hold for those that would never dare to do the same for you. I am not saying to not help people, because helping people is a powerful attribute to hold. I am saying that it's okay to make yourself a priority also, instead of leaving yourself waiting and wondering. Do you and be happy with the choices you make, because it really isn't necessary to have to explain your life to others. If you want to do something, because it is going to make you feel happy than pursue that. Pursue it because you want too, not because what others will think or say or not do it because of those reasons. With that also comes trying to be everything to everyone, that is so exhausting. I definitely know and is not fun at all. It takes a weight upon your shoulders and makes your inner being even more heavy with unnecessary burdens that don't need to be there. Focus on the things you want, who you truly are and want to become. This life you got chosen to live wasn't actually for anyone else. It was chosen for you to live, with the mistakes that you were meant to make and the happiness that makes you you. Remember who you are and don't change that and be authentic to you as possible. 

What attributes do you want to possess in your life that you see of others? {think of the 5 closest people to you} Do they possess values that you want to become or be like? If no, what would you like your life to preach about yourself?

For myself I want to incorporate and work on more on these in my life 
--->> letting go
--->> being curious of those around me and the things in my mind
--->> thinking on the bright side
--->> a better listener

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let your life preach more loudly than your lips. 
may your success be the noise. 

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