treat people like they're indispensable. [cv]

Hello End of June!

I have been listening to sermon's all afternoon and evening. I have also been reading and there was one thing that stuck out at me the most during my readings.

"Treat people like they are indispensable. (chad veach - sourced)
- Writing people off, cutting them out, eliminating them is criminal behavior that exposes immature thinking…
People are not dispensable."

I have been pondering this exactly thing for the past two months. I have been questioning my actions and if what I did was the correct method? Obviously, not if I am questioning my own motives and replaying it repeatedly in my head or having thoughts fly across my soul.

That very thing written is true. -- immature behavior. I have been definitely guilty of this in the past and made wrong choices, but always saw the wrong and corrected it for my inner soul. Whether that was taking it upon myself to say sorry for my part and what I had done at that time, which to me at the time may have proved to be logical. However, at the end of the day, weeks, months, and years it eats up the soul and lets you know that the choice I thought was right at the time wasn't fully smart - in fact it was foolish. You are probably wondering if I resonate with this exact quotation mentioned and to be one hundred percent truthfully honest with you I don't. I don't feel or think I ever have to be honest and that may be a bad thing in terms of how you look at it and see it from your point of view. From my own view point for those looking from the outside may see criminal behavior, foolish behavior and I wouldn't for one second disagree with what they see more. When it comes to things that happen, situations that involve people and most people will say you don't need that, cut them out, leave or where others will work through it and fix it. Yeah I don't think that is me at all. The fixing it part is me when I have chosen a foolish mistake. It's so so so true, people are very well not dispensable. And you would think that I would learn this time and time again, but I haven't it seems.

I have made mistakes, and I am only human but I am not the only one, the whole world is human. I am only a tiny microscopic dot in this world. My actions, emotions, thoughts, vision etc those can change the world, someones life.. they can alter things that most would never even consider or let their hearts imagine.  I am definitely guilty of  swinging my bat a lot sooner than I sometimes should. I may say things I should probably hold in, because its coming to bite me back around full circle. This year while being in school I learnt a lot but I also learnt a lot of things meeting new people and talking to new people along with talking with old familiar people.

Part of who i am as a person is that I have always been the one to write people off, cut them out, eliminate them from my life easily. Maybe that is not a bad thing and maybe it is. It simply is who I am as a person, because of life. Have I come around and learnt the truth about every situation in the long run, most definitely I have the the best of my ability if I have been given the opportunity to regain my heart, inner soul the wisdom it deserves to learn the true meaning, true understanding. The people that know me, know that I as a person is something that I have never had troubles with -- cutting, eliminating, writing people off easily without second thought. I am in no means proud of that as a person that I have the ability to not let it affect me, as it would affect others.

All I know lately this year, past two months is that its been a question on my mind.. people, actions, things. There is boundaries of letting people walk all over you and abuse you and then there is fixing the problem, finding a solution. If I put myself into the minds or shoes of others I can feel the power of most likely being a stepping stone to get somewhere and left behind. - nobody wants to be left behind or forgotten. Some people set there whole lives out in the fear of oblivion. They do everything they can for others, give everything, show up for everything and perhaps maybe waste all their energies for others and leaving nothing of themselves for their self to have. That is also no way to live life either. The way to live life is through God, through his teachings, through prayer and through listening and reading. God has the power, the answer and all that you acquire if you let the soul beware, graceful, beautiful and humble.

You need friends, especially the ones who are there no matter what. Even when you are acting stupid or are hiding in low places. Those are the friends that are going to strengthen you along with encourage you. The time when you are curled up in a low place. Everybody needs those kinds of people. I know I do and I also have learnt that when you distance yourself you also realize who really cares, who really is who they say they are towards you. Okay, everybody is busy these days but too busy to make an effort?  There is standards, boundaries and lines.. and maybe some people are cool and don't care if people cross them, but then their is you. what you allow and accept of others is how you allow them to treat you.  i definitely learnt that rookie mistake and I have learnt to apologize, make amends and even forgive. However, I still am in the process of God to learn to fix, talk and work out situations on a balance level of where I lack as a human being in the moment, to address it. to confront it, to pursue it. One of my most honest dislike, avoid that I would rather walk away from then deal with head on. I am not one who has ever enjoyed or liked confrontation ever and who seriously does? However, there is a difference between myself and those that may not like it but show up and acknowledge it and fix it. Those people allow the power of God's love to run through and to connect, understand to better their life. 

I need to become better.  -- when you know better, you do better. maya angelou
I will become better as a person.
I will learn to be full of wisdom, knowledge to become and do better as a human being.
I have the power.

It is very very honestly true that people are not dispensable. I have come to witness that more and more over the last month. I as a person all that I have in my heart to God, to keeping faith in me but also bringing in spectacular individuals into my world to allow me to learn, to treasure but also to give me the encouragement and strength that I may lack or not acknowledge.



I have the power to let my heart taking a beating to catch the feeling of making myself love when nothing comes close. • loreen