no worries, no cares, but myself

Oh Hey! 

I decided to come write on here quickly, but ah I honestly can't choose what to literally write about!! There is so many things I want to talk about on here at this moment, but it's one post at a time that I can only make happen. I am going to get into this post on what the title says, since that stuck out at me the most, so it is what it is for today's post. (haha, drake) -- And things might, just get real... truth. So if you've always wanted to know my thoughts, my thinking, my stories.. this is the place, this is the truth. This is the game that begins to get real. This is more of me than I may have ever revealed ever about anything or me personally.. these are my stories, my confined high buried walls, breaking down to the dirt concrete floors. This is me putting my stuff out on the floor, being vulnerable and risking everything that is inside of me. This is real talk happening.. 

First off I am liking Drake's new album by the way, it's pretty dooooope! ;) haha! If you must know the song I am really digging at the moment is "Too Much" (I love the beat & the piano is lovely)

This is something super new really to me, the no worries, no cares, but myself. I have never ever and I mean ever in my life got to feel this. It is so crazy, that it took this long to actually get to this moment, spot.. this change. I have talked about this a lot in my past but in a negative context I would say. (When I mean negative; I mean complaining wise in everything I had to do for others and not getting to live life truly and fully.) Oh don't get me wrong I will always help people, however people like to take advantage of me (you) in life and don't respect me (you). They don't because they got trained that way from me, which I learned and of course they are going to treat me (you) the way I (you) let them. As sadly as that may seem or as defensive some may feel or want to get, it's the truth. I understand however, there are circumstances that things happen the way they happen not because of me (you) necessarily. However, ever since I could remember from my littlest age I have always been in the middle of everything in life. And I am not going to sit here and say that I loved my life, because honestly didn't. truth, I didn't even know why I was alive or why I was put into this earth.. if you want to get real. I hated life, living and everything I got dealt and was born with. God doesn't put you through things if he doesn't think you can't handle it and I am here, I survived. How? I couldn't tell you, but I did even if I didn't really believe I would make it this far or think it would happen. I actually started to begin not to believe anything could be possible anymore, because nothing ever and I mean ever went the way I had planned. Okay, so .. my first mistake right there.. trying to plan everything never works. Planning defeats thy self (you), limits thy self (you) and makes you try to control everything instead of letting things flow along with making life happen. I controlled things for the longest time. I know this for a fact because even people would notice and comment on that to me. Life is about letting your hair down which I admittedly will admit I am still going through this all the time, everyday there is progress in some way or another in some areas or another. This beat that rolled right in since January all the way until now and continuing is so fresh, so nice and so relaxed. It's me, myself & I runwaying this dopest, illest dream that dreams can possibly go through and happen. I went from 6 to 8 to 75 within this short time frame. I know it's God's blessing to me for everything that I lacked to experience in my previous past lives at the right birth that I appeared here on earth. Experiencing life such as this however, comes with some territory of inexperience and what I mean by that is that all I have ever really known is chaos. I rolled in that, I focused in that, I swam in that.. I dug in that and I breathed in that and so for me that was my "normal" when really that is not normal to normal people. My normal was that chaos and I didn't know any different.. I did everything fast and always on the go, along with made every commitment even if I was deadly sick or whatever the case where others would be.. why are you here? But that is how I lived. I lived in that habit, that lifestyle. Is it good? Honestly, it's not because when I (you) get put into an environment that is unnatural because not knowing any different, I (you) don't know what to really do with myself (yourself). There is no reason to be on the constant go, there is no reason to focus on others and their problems. There is no drama to follow through on and deal with. It's just life, calm, surreal space. There is actually time to realize and take things in. It's about getting real, it's about getting deep, it's about finding out things and chasing things.. real things, important things, dreams and the guarantees of life that you want to make come true and happen. It's about perseverance and not giving up. It's about not over-thinking things or complexing things, it's about asking questions, finding the fascinating things in life, it's about experiencing life and trusting it. Because at the end of it all the universe wants you to win, succeed and have the dreams you've always dreamed. However, you must always put in the work, you must hustle and grind to the core plus run because while you think you're hustling hard and running hard, someone is running harder, stronger, and undefeated. Let that be you, because I chose to let that be me at the end of the day even if I didn't feel like anything was going to really come through for me. It did, at the right time.. when God wanted it to happen to me. (This is my no worries, no cares.. this is myself, this is my story to share. 

Happy Tuesday,
peeeace .