what came along and blew out your candle?

Everything works together and lately things keep happening that join together. I can not exactly explain why and how, but it's just been happening. I love those periods of moments in time and then they disappear for some time and reoccur again. It's been all happening a lot lately.

I have learnt so much this week about people really true see of me. You're probably going huh? I had to ask some people for a response to this question for school: what you think about me & who i am along with my strengths and weaknesses. The responses I got back I was not expecting at all from so many people. The things that they said were lovely, kind and incredible. My weaknesses was really what got me the most. It got me the most, because it has made me think a lot and realize that every single person has said pretty much the same thing or along the lines. I am the type that is truly grateful for constructive criticism / feedback on myself in general. Where as others may dread that; I find it helpful. I feel I can always improve myself and improve as a person to become better.

It has left me thinking a lot, trying to figure out in my head that I need to work on those things and the two people that may have mentioned it before and you brush it off as no big deal whatever. When you read numerous people with the same opinion it makes you go wow! I am truly grateful to the core of my heart and soul. It gave me a boost to thoughts that were in my head or lack thereof. I am very honored to have received all that I have already from people for a response.

I only hope I can become better as I turn exactly twenty-seven within a month exactly! (thanks to my lovely friend for the reminder!) I learned I really need to improve on myself; I knew I did before, but I always never put too much thought into it. As a situation that happened to myself for being honest and having to share it it opened this comment; you're going to believe what you want to believe even if someone tells you otherwise.) It also has had me thinking a lot too as well; I am literally blown away each time I receive a new response that I am trying to take it all in, but also process it all at the same time.

It has also made me re-evaluate the things I have wanted and was like I am not getting that or it hasn't happened to me yet. I now know why from all the feedback. It has opened up my eyes, heart and has given me the power from within my soul to light back up my candle and quite fighting myself and let whatever is suppose to shine to shine like a rising star in the night sky.

I know in the past I have allowed myself free willingly to work on myself and get help with it. I have also felt lost a bit for sometime in wanting to achieve things or for a long time and unsure how it's going to ever happen to someone like me. It allowed to go; heeey this needs to stop now! You need to believe in everything that's in your heart that you (i) want to come true. i feel like I've gotten it all pretty much from the creator and never really have fully truly really been grateful. Yes, I am grateful for things, but not the way that I have come to see everything that has been free willingly given to me lately. Yes, those are only words to some of you. Words, can impact a person so much, can open a person to so much that they never truly understood fully or knew.

I really got a beautiful gift one month before my birthday. I truly have been given all the things I need in my life at this point, time, moments with nothing more and nothing less. The things I have now are what I needed to focus on this whole time, realize, work on and go through to work through to get to some thing incredibly amazingly new.

The one thing i have longed for for the longest time I know fully realized why it hasn't happened or couldn't exactly happen or hasn't happened. It all makes sense and all the pieces needed to blow my mind to realization. I am forever grateful that I have literally no words at all. All I know as of late is that I need to put everything into action, work on everything to improve myself for better.

I feel as though I have been focusing in more and taking little steps each day on something. I cannot wait for the journey to continue on. Sometimes when you think people aren't paying attention or listening, secretly they are. Sometimes you never realize it or know it. You can be given incredible things if you allow yourself to be open and take it all in and process it through. I love learning experiences such as these. I feel I really needed something such as this, since I haven't received something as wonderful as this in a really long time. I am utterly grateful that I can repeatedly say that I am grateful until the sun sparks like moon. It truly doesn't fully express how my insides of my soul and heart feel.

Maybe, I'll get my wish after all. The unexpected that I never seen coming that I have forgotten.


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