#3 || The Flower Child Fall Challenge by Kaihla Tonai, Photographer

It is numero tres for today's post.

{Let's Be Honest}

My Journal
  • I feel that is my most rawest and heart-felt emotions on those pages when it comes to writing my personal inner beings of thoughts. And don't get me wrong, I am honest in my writing to my friends also in what I say; I really mean those words also. However, there are some pretty honest thoughts, emotions and feelings in my journal pages that only my heart and soul have written, viewed and reread over. There also has been secrets, dreams, prayers/writings to God and day-to-day life events that make life. You know the ones that spark a moment you haven't experienced and need it to be written down, because you need that memory? Perhaps, it isn't that I need the memory really per say, but sometimes the emotion of shame and or embarrassment of something I did takes part into those pages. Journals hold so much honesty, rawness, -- a lot of everything. Let's Be Honest would be my journal.

    My newest journal I bought yesterday
    from chapters for anyone wondering. :)
  • A Excerpt from my journal: March 6, 2014 at 1:13 am 

    Dear God,

    i don't know what is going on at all. i feel I am lacking on my potential you set forth for me and the attempts i have taken aren't my strongest point. They haven't been very useful to show who i am as a person or my talents. i feel i have let you down but also myself. i feel i hold onto things or people and i drag them down. i don't feel i am the person you have wanted me to be in that sense. i don't feel i know who i am or what i am fully capable of on my own, because i don't allow myself to fully try or put in the effort. i feel i see everybody else and what they are achieving or doing and lack the potential greatness stuck deep within me. i know i was born and given the life you have to me because you knew i could handle it and i was the very gift of who you saw me to being / becoming. i feel i am not meeting your guidelines of being everything you put inside of me. i am not giving worthy to your hundred percent effort at all to be truthful. The knowledge i have access to i lack and i know it in my heart that there is something more beautiful to grasp in my heart about my passion that i am not. Some of the things i have really wanted to capture in my life i have without fully realizing it and the things that i have were divinely your work of art to make it happen in my physical view, life time. And i am so grateful for all the things i have been able to achieve in my life from the goals i have set out to do and have made while accomplishing them. i feel i hinder the abilities inside of me that you put and the things i want really badly it's just shyly there. i don't know what you have set out for my future at all but i really want to let myself be fully educated to all the knowledge you given my mind to attain, heart to be passionate about and eyes to view physically. i want to beam the passion from my eyes of the very thing that i want to achieve when someone listens to my ideas or stories or accomplishments or goals. i want to radiate that light from my soul. Sometimes i don't exactly understand things that happen to me ever or at all when they do. i don't understand the struggles, yet the unpredictable that i never see coming from miles away decides to show up randomly on my front gateway of my broken atmosphere. Those little moments that do i am grateful because they always seem to be impact moments that lift up my heart, soul or show me something new in my life. However...

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